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Sunday Snippets…10th March

March 10, 2013

sunday_snippets2Twesome Loop 002


My previous postings have been from the modern part of my reincarnation novel. I thought it was time to introduce the 1874 period and its characters. Gabriella’s father is power hungry and has found a match for his daughter who will ensure his rise into high society. The husband is much older and abhorrent to Gabriella. This first scene is her father announcing the match.

“You will marry him, Gabriella and that is the last I will hear of it.”


“Do not question my judgement, girl. It is an excellent match.”

Gabriella ran from her father’s study, up the stairs to her bedroom and flung herself onto her bed. It might be excellent for her father but certainly not for her. Her uncontrollable sobbing persisted throughout the afternoon and into early evening. No-one came to comfort her. Father must have forbidden Mother and the servants to attend her. How could her father be so cruel, marrying her to such an old man? He was ugly and brutish. She hated the way he leered at her, licking his lips. It was disgusting. Father only saw William Folkes’ wealth and the large estate in Hampshire. With the marriage, her father, a trader, would climb the social ladder of high society. He clearly didn’t care about Gabriella’s happiness. She was the sacrificial lamb – totally powerless. She had heard mother try to persuade him that William was not suitable, only to be shouted down.

“I am the man of this house and you will comply with my wishes. William is obviously fervent in his feelings for Gabriella. He will be an excellent provider.”

“But, John, she is so young. Could you not find someone closer to her age, a more suitable husband?”

“How more suitable could he be? William is a wealthy and powerful man, Margaret. I am sure he will lavish many luxuries on the girl. She should think herself lucky I found such a good match. What more could she possibly want from a husband?”

“Why, love and children, of course.”

“William is certainly not too old to give her children. Now stop this complaining, I have made my decision and it is final so I will have no more talk of it.”

Now for the fun part to read everyone else’s snippets…


  1. Pingback: Sunday Snippets Critique Blog Hop: The First 250 Words of my New Novel, OPTIMAL RED | Jennifer M Eaton

  2. You are back ont he snippets list by the way. Sorry about that.

    You know, I got toatally swept up in this and actually did not find anything. Two slight formatting things I saw with the “-” that should ahve been an “–” or formatted to am emdash. Also, there is a running ellispe that I think should have been left as “…” in the context you have it, but you typed “….” That is probably specific to the publisher though.

    This is a class is tale set-up, and very similar to so many others, (as I am sure you are aware) The fun part, is not know ing hoe YOU are going to get her out of it.

    Well done!


  3. Hey, did you get left off the Snippets list? I don’t see you there…
    Wow, I want to smack her dad!
    I know the formatting is narrower on a blog page than a book page, but you might break up that long paragraph “Gabrielle ran from her father’s study…”
    Maybe at her thoughts?
    “He was ugly and brutish. She hated the way he leered at her, licking his lips. It was disgusting. Father only saw William Folkes’ wealth…”
    You might want to move the name up to the first ‘he.’ I doubt anyone would think her dad is leering at her, but you do have two he’s in the previous sentence.
    Otherwise well done!


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