I want to thank Stacy at http://onegirlriot.com for kindly awarding me this Lighthouse Award and her kind words about my blog. There are a few rules so I’ll get right to it.
Display the award certificate on your blog. Check
Inform your nominees of their award nominations. Check
Share three ways that you like to help other people. Check
There is no limit to the number of people you can nominate. Check
Don’t forget to have fun!
How I like to help others:
1. To encourage writers to pursue their writing in any way that works for them. There is no ‘right or wrong’ method, just your own.
2. Share my writing journey and experiences with as many people as possible in the hope it will enlighten them. The main aim of my blog!
3. To be a true friend and follow through with my promises and commitments.
Are you erroneously thinking that the world owes you something? Are you looking to others to do something for you rather than focusing on what you can do for yourself?
It is very common for people to feel that those in authority or those that are successful owe them something. This kind of thinking can be seen in many situations. A good, but extreme, example would be the beggar in the street who feels that because you are driving a nice car you should give him something for a meal.
Coming closer to many people’s experience, another example would be the relative who feels that because you are well educated and have a good job you should take over his responsibility of seeing one or two of his children through school. Then there is the employee that feels entitled to a promotion because they have served long in an organization.
Entitlement mentality – no ones owes you anything
There is nothing intrinsically wrong with any of the examples I have given. But the fact is that even if I had a billion dollars it would be totally up to me to decide whether to give the beggar the money or whether to sponsor those children through school. Similarly if I were the owner of the company it would be totally up to me to decide whether to promote you based on your long service.
The bottom line is that whatever decision I would make in all these cases would be correct. I may be compelled to help you by my spiritual convictions and beliefs, but even that would be up to me, not you. The fact is that, apart from very few very specific cases, no one is entitled to anything from anyone.
Our dependence on the donor community is one area where we often feel entitled to the point of irrationality. We expect donors to give us resources to take care of many of our problems. But are we trying to raise these resources ourselves? Is there no form of enterprise we can undertake that would give us the required resources? Yes, the donors have money, but it’s their money. They are free to give it to whoever they please. What is required is not always more donor funding, what is required is more self reliance and initiative.
Entitlement mentality – you owe it to yourself
The only person that is responsible for getting you what you want in life is yourself. The entitlement mentality of thinking someone owes you something is one that you should not have.
The catchphrase on television these days seems to be “government should do something about it.” The government is called upon to take care of all manner of problems and whilst some are truly its responsibility, the majority are not. The majority are the individual and community’s responsibility.
However, the politicians don’t make it easy on themselves because rather than telling people that they are capable in one way or another of solving most of their own problems, they prefer to make huge promises they cannot deliver on even if they had the capability.
Entitlement mentality – a hard lesson
The problem of the entitlement mentality is so far reaching that even countries like the United States are facing massive problems because of it. Their health-care and pension systems are under enormous strain. They simply cannot afford to pay for all the people that are on these programmes. So much so that Donald Trump and Robert Kiyosaki have written about it in their book “Why We Want You to be Rich.”
In this book they say: “The best way to solve the problem of bad financial results is to change our thoughts…That means losing the entitlement mentality…If we do not stop expecting the government to take care of us, we will continue to have the same results – a bankrupt nation filled with well-educated but financially needy people.”
The fact that a country as developed as the US should fall into such a trap of promising its citizens it will take care of them in their old age and when they need health care and failing to deliver on it should be a lesson to every country and individual in the world.
You cannot depend on the government to take care of your every need. It is far better to empower yourself and to be able to take care of yourself in every way possible. But that is hardly what the politicians, and even the people, want to hear. Everyone wants an easy way out. Everyone wants someone else to take care of them and sort out their problems. A change of thinking is needed at all levels.
Entitlement mentality – get financially literate
In no single area is such a change of thinking required as in the area of financial literacy. The ability to make money and to make it work for you is an ability that will do you a world of good. Read the right books on financial literacy. Do a short course in accounting or investing or anything else around the subject. Attend seminars and workshops. Start a small business and learn how to manage and grow a business.
Do not leave your financial future in uncertain hands by trusting pension schemes, health schemes and a whole lot of other schemes that are not in your control. Just do something different from everyone else because, as Albert Einstein said, insanity is “doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”
Entitlement mentality – conclusion
The truth of it is that you are a person with everything to offer your country and the world. Yes there are problems out there, but there are also plenty of opportunities. Why are some succeeding in the same environment? What’s to stop you from succeeding?
Realize that you alone have ultimate power over your future and what happens or doesn’t happen to you. This should be a liberating and empowering thing. Take hold of it and use it well. The world owes you nothing. Don’t gamble your life away with the entitlement mentality.
This word describes my parents love for their children and grandchildren perfectly. I lost my Father ten years ago and my Mother on 5th September, 2013. Their legacy of unconditional love, will live on in us all as we love and support each other at this devastating time. Their love for each other showed in everything they did. Together now for eternity.
We may not have been monetarily rich as a family but we never felt disadvantaged or poor as love and encouragement was limitless in our lives as we grew into caring, respectful adults. In turn we are showing our children the same fierce devotion to make them loving, caring people.
Night-night and God bless to the most wonderful parents anyone could ever wish for.
Callow – definition: immature : lacking experience or judgment
Life is a steep learning curve. From our first steps to reading and writing to more complicated skills. We are constantly learning something. The secret to an active old age is, more than likely, continuing to explore, investigate and enjoy new experiences and skills. As many of you know I came to writing later in life and learning the ropes has been an enlightening road. It infused me with an energy I had been lacking for a long time. When we are younger everything is an adventure, unfortunately somewhere along the way we lose that feeling, unless we are lucky to find something that triggers it again.
When I observe younger people striving to make their way in the world, I am always surprised how they are perceived and treated. As older adults do we forget how we struggled? How many paths lay before us? What influenced us? How hard life seemed? How any advice given was ‘boring’? How every day was full of new possibilities that were just waiting for us?
So maybe we should give the younger generation some slack and encourage them a bit more? We can all site the ‘bad teenagers’ but they are the minority, most are trying to grow up and understand themselves.
What are your views?
Is growing up harder now? Is peer pressure more violent? Will being an individual automatically ostracize you from inclusion into the group?
Have you found new skills and experiences that have enhanced your life?
Coax – definition: 1) to influence by gentle urging, special attention or flattering 2) to get or win by means of gentle urging or flattery
There seems to be two decidedly opposing sides to this manner of influence. We can see it as someone fawning and ingratiating themselves for special favors – we’ve all witnessed it either at school or work. Or it can be a way to assist someone with lack of self esteem or purpose to achieve their goals. When we first ‘reveal’ our writing passion it can be with some trepidation. Will family and friends take us seriously? Will they understand? Talking to many writer friends it has become apparent that the ‘coaxing’ comes from both sides. A writer needs to coax their support system into believing their passion is a worthwhile endeavor while the family and friends have to ‘coax’ the writer into following their goals.
When we set our sights on our writing goals, be it writing that novel, getting published or committing to a blog, it is best to break down that challenge into manageable realistic portions. Telling yourself you can write a novel in three months and have a best seller by the end of the year is not only unrealistic but will be self defeating. Instead decide how much time you can manage for actually writing it. As we all know this first draft will go through many changes as we coax the characters and plot line into a polished project. Be assertive in making this writing time ‘your time’ so you are undisturbed. (Easier said than done I know!) However, if you can distance yourself from people who criticize and demean your efforts you will succeed.
Writing (Photo credit: jjpacres)
Realize a novel or novella is not a ‘quick’ project and the more time invested in it, the better it will become. Whatever your support system – friends, family or writing group – use them for feedback as well as encouragement. We all need coaxing from time to time.
What coaxing have you experienced? One of mine was a new found friend in my writing group ‘persuaded’ me to try NaNoWriMo – this was at a time when the most I had written was a short story! Let’s just say she was insistent but also encouraging and to my surprise I succeeded with that challenge. It was a bit extreme to say the least but it opened the flood gates to my creativity so I’m not complaining.