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Author Interview – Gail Gillingham Wylie

October 8, 2019
mandyevebarnett


AuthorInterview

gail

First of all, my book is not a novel but a self help book so I will try to answer the questions……

What inspired your latest novel?

In 1993 I left my husband and in leaving him lost everything for a time, my home, my job, my family and so on. I struggled to make sense of how I was feeling without any real help from the therapists I went to, the self help books I read, or any friends, etc. I talked to. I decided to return to University where I discovered the work of William James. It made sense of what I, not only, was experiencing, but also what my family was going through. Had no intention of ever writing a book about it, but after hearing everyone responding to 911, in much the same I felt in 1993, I decided I need to share what I had learned and so put it all down on paper.

How did you come up with the title?                 

William James developed a model of self in the late 1800’s – the title refers to how we, without being aware, are searching for that level of understanding.

Is there a message in your novel that you want readers to grasp?

You are okay – no matter what is happening to you. It all makes sense if you take into account your whole journey through life. Only once you clearly understand your “self” you are you free to choose the next steps wisely.

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How much of the book is realistic?

All of it, I hope.

Are your characters based on someone you know, or events in your own life?

There are three main sources for the examples I use in the book, my own life and what I have learned from two groups of people who live on the extreme……those with autism and those who were sexually abused as children.

Where can readers find you on social media and do you have a blog?

Social media: facebook – interact with people all over the world on messenger through it. No blog as such, but do share thoughts through the notes section on facebook. Also have a website for my work in autism: www.autismconsultingservice.com

Do you have plans or ideas for your next book? Is it a sequel or a stand alone?

Have just completed my first novel – one I carried around in my head for 45 years. Currently have a couple more on the go. One is a murder mystery type, the other, the impact in a community in the midst of a world wide disaster. Don’t think I will be writing any more self-help books

Of the characters you have created or envisioned, which is your favorite & why?

I like the main character in the murder mystery -Oliver Weary……he is a good man, in spite of what happened to him as a child, and spite of what the community at large assumes.

Do you favor one type of genre or do you dabble in more than one?

Definitely a dabbler. Just finished a dinner theatre murder mystery for my family that worked out well, completing two very different projects in the moment: a manual for the work we do, and a short history of my grandfather’s life for my extended family as well as the two novels in progress.

Do you plan your stories, or are you a seat of the pants style writer?

Am amazed at how, although one has planned out an outline, how stories take on a life of their own as time goes by.

What is your best marketing tip?

Wish I had one!!!

Do you find social media a great tool or a hindrance?

For me, it has been a great tool, but it does take time and energy to use it effectively.

OPTIONAL QUESTIONS

What do you enjoy most about writing?

It is who I am and I delight in the freedom to do it at this point in my life. At a certain point in life, I actually burned everything I had written up till then, something I have regretted ever since. Not good to not live with the freedom to be oneself.

What age did you start writing stories/poems?

I don’t remember, did a lot of newspaper ideas as a child and carried on with them in high school and college – the childhood ones were all fiction, while the later ones were of actual happenings and shared with the community I was in at the time.

Has your genre changed or stayed the same?

I think it has always been diverse.

What genre are you currently reading?

Current book of the moment is Emma by Alexander4 McCall Smith – a modern retelling of Jane Austen’s novel. We have a wee library close to our home and I currently get all of my reading material from it……so becomes very diverse based on what others have contributed.

Do you read for pleasure or research or both?

At this point, pleasure. Started researching both autism and the long term effects of childhood sexual abuse in the late eighties and basically gave up reading for pleasure for the next 20 years…..so it feels goo to get back to it.

Who is your best supporter/mentor/encourager?

My husband Clay

Where is your favorite writing space?

On the computer!!! So nice to have something that I can use that gets my thoughts down almost as fast as I can think them!! Have my own office in my home so that’s where the writing happens at this point. Have this dream of moving into at hotel for a stint and having everything looked after for me so all I needed to do was write, but fear it might end up too boring.

Do you belong to a writing group? If so which one?

No, not really – joined one last fall but nothing came of it…..

If you could meet one favorite author, who would it be and why?

Margret Lawrence – to thank her for a portion of The Diviner’s which explained how I was responding to life and what I needed to do to change it.

If you could live anywhere in the world – where would it be?

Right where I am. Love my home!!! But in the midst of that, also NEED to experience the energy of the mountains, the ocean and the old growth forests so make the effort to visit them at least once a year.

Do you see writing as a career?

Since I am almost at the age of 70, not really looking for a career. May have wanted it when I was younger but know now that the life I experienced has opened me up in ways that sitting at a desk never could have….and it is those experiences that make what I write powerful.

Do you nibble as you write? If so what’s your favorite snack food?

No – drink a lot of coffee but rarely snack if ever.

What reward do you give yourself for making a deadline?

No deadlines at this point in life!!

Bio:

Gail Gillingham Wylie, M.Sc. is an individual, marital and family therapist working in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada specializing in the field of autism. She has a Bachelor’s of Art in Psychology from the University of Alberta and a Masters of Science in marital and family therapy from Loma Linda University, California. She has worked as a quantum biofeedback practitioner with SCIO since 2005.

Gail is known internationally through her books on autism: Autism Handle with Care (1995), Autism A New Understanding (2000) and Sharing our Wisdom (2003) and has spoken at many conferences on autism in United States, Canada, England, Malaysia and South Africa throughout the last quarter century. These include presentations at the World Conferences on Autism in Toronto in 1993, and Cape Town, SA in 2006. Her latest book In Search of Self takes her out of the autism world as it applies to each and every one of us.

Gail first began using the model of self as tool with her clients while working as a family therapist. She has successfully incorporated it into her sessions on the scio as it provides a visual map for those who are working towards self awareness. She fully believes that we are living at a time during which developing and unconditional acceptance of one self and of others is of prime importance. The model of self can help us do that.

Alternative Living – The Wandering Part 2…

April 27, 2016
mandyevebarnett


Around-the-World

As I said this subject required a second post. So for those of you yearning to travel the globe but still earn some income, here are the other options open to you.

11. This option depends on your personality and if you are willing to put in a few months research. Affiliate Marketing may be the source of income to give you your freedom.

12. Another option is selling goods online. These can be your own crafts where you set up a website or shop on a online sales outlet. There is a good deal of marketing that is required but it can work.

13. Day-Trading is another option that requires research and knowledge on the markets but again can be maintained remotely.

14. An ultimate job is to be allowed the option to work remotely thereby giving you freedom to work anywhere while still receiving a good salary.

15. Why not look after someone’s home when they are away? It can be a couple of weeks, months or even years dependent on the location and type of home.

16. Teaching is not limited to languages, how about dance classes, or yoga, or tutoring another subject as well as musical instruments.

17. For those of you with an artistic or creative personality, try joining an international traveling show, such a circus, music band, theater group or dance show.

18. If you are multilingual becoming am interpreter or translator is another way to utilize your skills to travel.

19. This is not for everyone, but online poker can reap rewards as long as you are good at the game. Remember that not all locations allow online gambling (United States) so check before you play.

20. If you are good with children there is the option of employment as an au pair.

21. If you have great skills in photography sell your images online. People love photos of exotic locations and images of life abroad.

22. Why not sell your art and crafts at local markets? There is a wealth of tourists wanting souvenirs. There are many market circuits to follow.

23. With an artistic talent there is always busking – you can dance, juggle, play an instrument or sing. Just check the legalities first.

24. Voluntary Service Overseas (VSO) – although you will not be paid you will have room and board and travel. You can do good while exploring the world.

25. Peace Corps is an option but remember it is a two-year commitment. You will receive a housing and living allowance, student loan assistance and full medical and dental coverage. Working in third world locations assisting with health, agriculture and environment issues.

26. WWOOF is World Wide Organization of Organic Farms – you work 4-6 hours a day in exchange for food and housing with a host family.

Travel-World

What other skills or jobs do you know of that allow you to travel?

Part One here: https://mandyevebarnett.com/2016/04/20/alternative-living-the-wandering-part-1/

 

 

 

Freelance Fright ~ Part I

April 30, 2014
mandyevebarnett


reblog

As a newbie to the freelance world, I so understand this…
Let you experiences in the comments. The more we share the more we learn and grow.

RiterRick

Before I get started, I’d like to answer an email received, the answer provided is a bit in depth, so bear with me as I take care of this:

Q:What do you do when you feel not so free when you’re freelancing writing?

A: I read

Thank you for your patience…


I freelance write when I have time. It’s not difficult and it brings in extra cash whenever I want. There’s always an array of topics available online. Something is bound to capture your interest. I can understand your hesitation. I hope this blog reaches out and calms those fears of freelancing.

Freelance writing is a versatile and competitive field. There are many subjects and just as many so called experts on the subjects. I compare freelancing to an auction. You spend hours placing bids on various ads. From there it’s the proverbial wait game. You click on your email…

View original post 483 more words

Life is Exigent – Do You Balance Your Life..?

December 11, 2013
mandyevebarnett


Exigent – definition: requiring, demanding, or calling for much attention or action

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Life is exigent, isn’t it? We are pulled in different directions for family, work and writing commitments. This Wiki explanation sums it up well:

Work–life balance is a concept including proper prioritizing between “work” (career and ambition) and “lifestyle” (health, pleasure, leisure, family and spiritual development / meditation). Related, though broader, terms include “lifestyle calm balance” and “lifestyle choices”.

For most of the time we seem to be ‘catching ourselves up’ or ‘dropping the ball’ in one area; if not more. Stress results and impacts severely on our decision making, abilities and mental health. Finding a balance in our personal lives isn’t easy and although we try to divide our attention to each area equally, it is not always possible.

What should suffer? Work – would impact us financially. Family – relationships would falter. Writing – creativity and productivity would diminish. So the answer is…juggle it all and hope for the best or find methods to enable a balance to be achieved.

Have you found difficulties with this?

Do you have creative ways to achieve your best balance?

http://www.writedirections.com/balancing.php

http://www.mybooktherapy.com/finding-balance-with-writing-life-getting-organized/

http://www.forbes.com/sites/amyanderson/2013/07/26/work-life-balance-the-ultimate-oxymoron-or-5-tips-to-help-you-achieve-better-worklife-balance/

wheel

What Do You Procrastinate About..?

September 5, 2013
mandyevebarnett


Dilatory – definition: 1. tending to put off what ought to be done at once : given to procrastination; 2. marked by procrastination or delay; intended to cause delay, especially said of actions or measures

Procrastination

What aspect of your writing life do you procrastination the most about?

Or do you put off other aspects of your life for your writing?

The latter is most certainly me – yes I admit it – the housework can pile up! Given the choice I would immerse myself in my creativity 24/7 – alas that’s not possible – YET! The day job gets in the way as does the dreaded chores but retirement is a golden carrot (well in my case, a golden pen!) dangling ahead of me, drawing me ever closer to my dream.

Do you have any tricks to stop yourself procrastinating?

Here is a great link I found-  http://www.keepinspiring.me/how-to-stop-procrastinating/

1. The First 30 Minutes Of The Day Is Always For Work

Does this sound familiar: you start the work day/study session telling yourself – you’re “just going to check email/facebook/twitter/reddit for 5 minutes, then I’m going to get to work”. Before you know it, 5 minutes has dragged into 2 hours, and 2 hours has dragged into 4 hours, and you realize you have spent half your day sucked into a never-ending loop of checking email, social media, youtube, and your favorite viral news sites?

The first 30 minutes of your day/work day/study session should be spent doing work. If you really need to check email or your social news sites, do it once you have established a good work groove and you’ll find it much easier to shut it off. Or better yet, block distractions out completely until you’re done.

Having trouble jumping into those first 30 minutes? Tell yourself that you’re just going to get 10 minutes of work done and if its just too painful, you’ll give yourself a break. That first 10 minutes is usually all you need to start getting focused.

2. Become More Self Aware

Procrastination usually comes in two forms. There’s:

  1. Difficulty in starting a task
  2. Getting distracted while working on a task

They both follow a similar pattern of self rationalization.

  • You tell yourself “I really need to get started on this.”
  • You feel stressed.
  • You feel an urge to do something else, so you tell yourself “I’ll get started soon, but I can afford another 5 minutes doing this one other thing.”

Giving yourself this little reprieve relieves the stress temporarily and reinforces the neural pathways associated with procrastination, making it just a bit easier to fall victim to procrastination again, 5 minutes later.

Try this next time you find yourself facing this never-ending cycle. Next time you’re about to start a task and you feel a voice in your head telling you to “check your email, it might be important!”, or “I wonder if anyone commented on my Facebook status”, resist the urge. Tell yourself you’ll just resist it this one time.

You’ll find that the urge does pass once you acknowledge it for what it is – a sudden impulse driven by your reptilian brain.

3. Block Out Distractions

Did you know that willpower is a limited resource that can be depleted like any other form of energy? Much like going on a morning jog tires you out for your evening work out, the more energy you spend resisting temptation, the less energy you’ll have for resisting temptation later on. This has been confirmed by real studies.

What does this mean for someone trying to get rid of procrastination? It means that just knowing that Facebook or Reddit is one click away can make it more likely that you’ll get distracted and start procrastinating. While you might be able to resist the temptation during the first half of your work day, as you expend energy focusing, you’ll become more and more likely to give into temptation and start  procrastinating.

To avoid this, use software like RescuetimeStayFocusd or Freedom to block distracting websites, or block the internet out altogether. Not having to deal with the temptation of constant distractions will not only make it less likely that you’ll succumb to momentary temptation, but it will actually give you more energy to focus on your work and avoid procrastinating when you’re tired.

4. Embrace Imperfection

One of the reasons we procrastinate is to avoid having to make tough decisions and deal with a difficult task. If you’re trying to write the perfect paper, coming up with the perfect thesis can be so intimidating that you don’t even want to get started.

Instead of always aiming for perfection, start intimidating projects by just getting started. Can’t come up with a perfect first line for your essay? Just start writing anything that comes to mind on the topic. Can’t think of a topic? Just start writing down anything vaguely related to the subject matter.

The same can be applied to studying. Is the thought of reading that thick textbook too intimidating? Just start by reading the table of contents, or the first page. Too tired to take notes or really process the concepts? Just skim through what you need to get through and come back tomorrow to re-examine the material when you’re refreshed. Getting something done is better than doing nothing, and once you get started, you’ll often find you have more energy than you thought you did.

5. Make Yourself A Date

Human beings can be strange – if we’re meeting a friend, we’ll set a fixed time to do so, and we show up. Most of us would never make an appointment with a friend and simply avoid showing up for no reason. Yet when it comes to important tasks like going to the gym, or getting another chapter written for your novel, we’ll just set vague goals and feel perfectly comfortable pushing back our self-imposed deadlines.

Start scheduling your important  tasks and showing up every time, no matter what. You would not bail on a meeting with a friend just because you feel a little tired, would you? So why do you do it with the gym? If you want to go to the gym 3 times a week, instead of just telling yourself you’ll go 3 times this week, pick 3 days and 3 times that you’re going to show up, and don’t miss those appointments no matter what.

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